Kids Today

So this will be the first of occasional thoughts that I put out for people to read. My goal is not to make these argumentative, but grace filled appeals to compassion and understanding. We'll see; arguments are easier.

I would guess that I spend more time than the average person my age with people who are 60 and over. These people are often wise, experienced, and caring. They have seen and experienced a lot, and they care for the communities and institutions that have been important in their lives. For better or for worse, many of these communities and institutions are changing and many are declining. Civic organizations, churches, you name it and these pillars of the 20th century community are in decline when measured by members and money. (One could argue that this is not the best way to measure such things, but that's not what I'm here to do.) And these folks are asking all the time at meetings and gatherings I attend, "What can we do to get millenials (younger people) to be a part of our organizations and institutions?"

Now, as a called and employed pastor in the institutional church, I admit that my perspective is probably bias. But, I do believe that civic institutions are not a dying vestige of an older culture. True, the culture has changed, but one thing has not changed. People still desire to be social with other people. That is how we are created. The very first problem that God identifies with God's otherwise "good" creation is that "It is not good that the man should be alone." (Gen 2:18). We are created to be in community with other people, and churches, clubs, and civic organizations provide venues for that. So, theologically speaking, these are good things that can help us be who we are created to be.

The problem that I hear identified most often by the leaders and members active in these organizations that is causing them to decline is with "kids today." It is usually expressed in general terms, to sum up an entire generation with a few words, and goes something like this. "Kids today don't want to join our [church, club, group] because: a) they are stuck in their digital devices. This usually refers to video games, FaceBook, or mobile phones. b)  they just want to be entertained. This implies a shallowness, suggesting this generation values good coffee and music above all else. c) they don't care about their communities or other people. Most solutions to the problem are based off of these assessments and there by seek to engage millenials through digital media, good coffee and music, and me-centered programs.

Here's the thing. The "kids today" I know do not bear out these diagnoses of their generation. The articles I read about the generation at large don't either. So, if institutions of the 20th century want to reach "kids today," they/we need to do some serious rethinking about who "kids today" are and what drives them.

I also interact with a lot of millenials. Although I am technically in "Generation X" and I am just old enough to remember a world without mobile phones and the internet, I am much more at home in the digital, social media world than my parents. I do not have these answers. But here is what I can tell you about kids today, based on the ones I know.

Our culture is placing tremendous demands on them without the promises of yesterday. You should be married and start a family by 30, but your chance of divorce is 50%. You should exercise and eat right, but your life-expectancy is lower than your parents' generation. You should go to college and get a career, until that interferes with expectation 1, in which case, women should drop their careers we told them to get and go back home. Oh by the way, college and day care are more expensive than ever, while wages have only seen moderate increases. And it is true that our culture at large no longer tells them that they SHOULD be a part of a church or civic organization. So, given all the other demands on their lives, many of them are not.

Kids today are not shallow people who want video games, coffee, and music. The ones I know work hard. Really hard. And they care deeply for their friends and family. Hmm, that sounds an awful lot like the people over 60 that I know.

Kids today want community. They don't just want acquaintances, people to talk sports and weather with; they want family. They want people to love and support them for who they are. And they want to love and support their communities, but not in the fundraiser way. They want to get involved, to have relationships, to get their hands on something, to see a face and shake a hand, not read a report.

Hope for the over 60s reading this: Kids today are not as different as you as you think. Yes, your organization may have to change a little about what you do and how you do it. But the fundamental principles of building community are still solid.

Hope for the kids today reading this: People over 60 are not as different as you think. Try to see past their generalizations. Yes, they want their organizations to continue. But fundamentally, they just want to be in relationship with you, to teach you what they know, to share their passions with you, and to love you.

Spring is Coming

Song of Solomon 2:10-13

¹⁰     My beloved speaks and says to me: “Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away;

¹¹   for now the winter is past, the rain is over and gone.

¹²   The flowers appear on the earth; the time of singing has come,

and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land.

¹³   The fig tree puts forth its figs, and the vines are in blossom; they give forth fragrance.

            Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away.

As I write these words, a snowstorm looms on the horizon, preparing to blow in frosty temperatures and drop a half-foot on us. We have already been through weeks of cold and ice. In the dark, depth of winter, it is difficult to imagine days when it will be warm again. Yet before the next newsletter, the grass will be green, the azaleas will be in full bloom, and we will have celebrated Easter, the resurrection of our Lord and savior Jesus Christ.

When we are caught up in the winter struggles of life, it becomes very difficult to see and imagine the blossoming warmth of a new life and new future coming to us. When we suffer illness and pain, it is hard to remember life without it. When things that we love are taken from us, whether a job or a friend, a spouse or a child, the cold darkness can seem to go on forever. When our church is struggling, there seems no end to the strife.

These verses from Song of Solomon, God's love song to God's people, remind us that God is always coming to us from a bright future where singing has resumed, health has been restored, and new life is abundant. Our Lord Jesus promises in John 14:18 "I will not leave you orphaned; I am coming to you." Jesus is with us in the winter, and Jesus is coming to us, bringing new life of spring, of Easter, from the promised future God has prepared for us. The winter is short, but our time of rejoicing in God's steadfast love will endure forever.

Christian Discipline for the New Year

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! As we move into a new year, I am excited to continue our journey in discipleship together. Our culture has a tradition of New Year’s resolutions, by which a person pledges to him or her self to improve their personal lives in the coming year. As Christians, we have a similar tradition to strengthen our faith each year by focusing on Christian discipline during the season of Lent. I would like to encourage you to join me in Lenten discipline this year.

The difference between New Year’s resolutions and Lenten discipline is the goal. New Year’s resolutions are often personal goals, such as learning a new skill or seeking to lose five pounds. You usually seek to make yourself what you conceive to be a better person. Lenten discipline opens new opportunities for God to work in our lives. You seek to allow God to make you a better disciple.

A fast may allow new space for God to bring grace into our lives. Unlike a new year’s resolution, a fast is not a permanent change, but a temporary period of abstention from something in order to re-order your life towards God. A fast reminds us that “one does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord” (Deuteronomy 8:3). If you are physically able, you may refrain from food for a time, like during daylight hours on Wednesdays or Fridays. Or you may fast from other things, like your TV watching time, your use of Facebook, or your weekly round of golf. It doesn’t need to be something that is “bad” for you, simply something that will free up extra time each week for you to spend time with God.

To that end, you may substitute a Christian discipline in place of your fast. You may spend the time studying the scripture or make a commitment to Sunday School or Bible study. You may spend the time in prayer. You may dedicate some hours to an after-school program or to Clemson Community Care. Whatever direction God leads you, the goal is enriched discipleship and deeper life in the Word of God, Jesus Christ. So make one of your New Year’s resolutions to follow a Lenten discipline this year.