That's what came of our efforts to explain to Mary Grace about who Santa Claus is, why some people believe that he comes to their house on Christmas Eve to bring presents, and why he does not come to our house. That's right, we don't do Santa. No need to judge, I've already heard it all in the last month. The worst was from Mary Grace herself, when she found out the guy at the tree farm wasn't Santa, "Why did you put me on that guy's lap and let me tell him what I wanted for Christmas?!" Good question; it snuck up on us and we weren't ready yet.
So here's what we came up with. Odd that we have to "come up" with a story to explain the truth that there is no man sneaking into our house in a few days. But, I digress. Santa is another name for St. Nicholas, who is also called Father Christmas, or in Haiti Papa Noel. St. Nicholas lived a long time ago and he loved Jesus very much. He knew that God gave us Jesus, and Jesus gave everything for us, so he gave gifts to the children and people in his community. He died and went to be with Jesus in Heaven with God, where he is still alive. So Santa is real and alive, but he is not coming to give us presents, because he is with God. Other people pretend that he gives presents, and some people think they are not pretending. But we know that we get to give each other presents because we want to be like St. Nicholas, like Jesus, like God.
To you get it, Mary Grace? Yes, Santa is dead. Now, this doesn't present any real problems for me, except I'm not trying to ruin Christmas for everyone else in Easley. And where as I don't think moving away from an idea of only getting presents when you are nice and making a list of all the things you want to get ruins Christmas, there are a lot of people who disagree with me here. First, there is everyone, her teachers, church members, random people on the street, who ask her what Santa is going to bring her. If she tells them Santa is dead, well, people tend to get upset. Then of course, is the bigger concern of all her friends who believe that Santa will be coming to bring their presents and would be upset to find out that old Kris Kringle had turned up his pointy boots. Again, I don't want her to make people sad and upset.
So this has led to what I think is an even more fruitful conversation. Mary Grace, we know that Santa is not going to bring presents, that we will give each other presents on Christmas. But other people don't know that. And it is not our job to tell other people what they should think and believe. We can't control other people. We aren't the boss of other people. And we don't need to tell other people they are wrong. We need to be kind, respectful, and loving.
So yesterday some guy asked her if she had been good for Santa to bring her presents. And she just said yes. And she turned to me with a huge smile and asked me to bend down and whispered in my ear, "Daddy, I didn't tell him about Santa." Can you imagine a world where we all spent less time trying to be right and tell others where they are wrong? Can you imagine living in your convictions in a way that was thoughtful to the feelings and needs of others? Mary Grace can. Merry Christmas.
